Likhang Isip

It’s been a looong time since I last visited this account. I got so caught up with facebook esp with all the games and applications that I forgot about friendster.

Going back here, i am reminded of the friends in my past. Some of my friends here havent switched over to facebook yet, and so I lost track of what’s been happening to them. Facebook is so interactive that the hours just seem to slip away, and speaking of time…it’s almost December! October is almost over and I have just a month to get things ready for Christmas.

This year was a year of new starts for me and my family. We moved in to our new apartment, the husband got the promotion he was aiming for, and my son has been responding well to his medication that he hasn’t had a seizure in a year. I’ve kept a low profile, hiding myself from my social circles not because I was afraid to go out, but because I had so much to do and so little time to do it…and before I knew what was happening, the year had passed me by and I’m still the same…or am I?

I learned a lot this year, and seemed to have adapted well to my shift in career. As a freelancer, I have been deep in social media and internet news that sometimes I feel like I’ve turned into such a geek. Coffee runs thick in my veins, and I am wide eyed and alert only after 12 noon. You’d have to wonder how I manage to wake up at 5am to fix breakfast when I sleep at 2 or 3am everyday…the secret is calamansi juice. I drink calamansi juice to wake me up…and coffee to calm me and make me sleep…weird huh? When the husband and son leaves the house, I lock the doors, turn off all the lights and crash on the sofa. I sleep a lot on the sofa than I do in bed.

So many things I want to do, but I’ve learned to take it all in stride. Patience for me is still a challenge, and discipline and order still drives me nuts…but im getting better at it…Im still able to get  lot of work done…I think.

I still dream of going back to Cebu to visit and take Gabby along with me. I want to take him to the places I love.

To some of you who asked what happened to me?

Life happened…

Cheers!

Pasensya na kung hindi na ako masyadong nakakapag-post dito kasi mas madalas ay nasa facebook na ako. Kakaibang kaligayahan at aliw ang dulot sa akin ng mga updates ng facebook, ang mafia wars, barn buddy at farmville at ang sangkaterbang quiz at games na meron sila.

Hindi na din ako masyadong nakaka-blog dito dahil sa wordpress na ang blog ko…sa http://thumbbook.wordpress.com at sa dami din ng mga raket online…nakaligtaan ko nang bisitahin ang dati kong mahal na friendster.

Pasensya na talaga…sana magkita-kita tayo sa facebook

Nanlalamig na bang pag-ibig mo?

Paulit-ulit kong pinapakinggan ang kanta ng Paramita na Hiling. Paramita kasi ang pinapakinggan niya habang paalis sya papunta sa opisina kanina.

Nanlalamig na bang pag-ibig mo sa akin..giliw?

Madaming bagay na pinagpapasalamat ko sa pagsasama namin, ang pagbukas ng magagandang trabaho at projects, ang pagbubukod namin at pagtayo sa sarili naming paa…madami kaming nagawa ng hindi umaasa sa iba. We make a great team…pero bakit ganun.

Nanlalamig na bang pag-ibig mo?

Hindi ko maibigay ang pinakagusto niya…ang isang anak. At nahihirapan na ako dahil kada buwan na duduguin ako, para akong namamatay sa lungkot na bumabalot sa mukha niya.

Parang gusto ko na siyang palayain para humanap na lang siya ng iba na makakapagbigay ng gusto nya. Kaya kong ibigay sa kanya ang mga materyal na bagay na nais nya, pero ito…ang gumawa ng isang buhay, hindi sya ganun kadali gawin. Kung alam ko lamang ang sikreto para may mabuo na, kahit buhay ko ibibigay ko kapalit ng anak na gusto nya.

Nahihirapan na ang aking isip
Nauubusan na ng sasabihin sa iyo..
Nanlalamig na ba ang pag-ibig mo sa ‘kin..
Giliw..

May mas sasakit pa ba dito? patayin mo na lang ako…

Nahihirapan na ang aking isip
Nauubusan na ng sasabihin sa iyo..
Nanlalamig na ba ang pag-ibig mo sa ‘kin..
Giliw..

Verse 2:
Nalilito ako, nais kong sagipin ang ating
Nalulunod na pag-ibig
Nguni’t handa akong palayain ka
Kung ito ang ‘yong hiling
Gaano man kasakit sa akin
Ibibigay sa yo
Ang tanging pakiusap lang
Wag mo akong kalimutan..

Refrain:
Kay rami nang nagdaan
Na pagsubok sa ting pag-ibig
Kakayanin pa kayang mabawi pa
Ang mga nasabi nang masasakit na salita..

Kung ito ang yong hiling
Gaano man kasakit sa akin..
Ibibigay sa yo..

Nanlalamig na bang pag-ibig mo?

He started kicking me at the stroke of midnight and then a radiating pain spread through my back like a bad constipation. I must have made a dozen trips to the bathroom that night, until I realized this must be what they called “contractions”.

On the morning of March 28, 1999, my constipated belly let out a gorgeous little boy. A baby who made so much noise while he was in my womb, that I named him “Gabriel” (and he does have the gift of gab).

That was ten years ago, and it still surprises me when I think of all the things Gabby and I had gone through. I cant believe that 10 years had already passed.

From March 1999 to March 2009, I have seen how the world rapidly advanced and how technology and the internet affected our daily lives. People are now taking global warming seriously because the ice caps are melting, and even the US has gone into recession…It was a decade of “me,me,ME” We changed phones every six months, maxed out credit cards, hanged out at hip bars, but after a decade, what have we learned from all of it? It was a very selfish decade.

That is why I am grateful for Gabby, for teaching me how to be an adult. I would never know how to be mature if I wasnt responsible for anyone other than myself. Gabby who took in all my mood swings and angst. Who made me laugh and talked to me when i was too tired of listening to my own crazy thoughts.

Gab the little miracle that I am still trying hard to recreate.

As I held him in my lap on his 10th birthday party, I realized it wont be long before he forgets about me, and confides more with his friends. But I want to believe that our bond is much stronger than that. We have a decade of love ‘neath our belts, a decade of late night talks, tickles, hugs and kisses. And some good ole cooking projects to fill up all those precious memories.

May dumating sa bahay kagabi na isang bagong gamit. “Hiram” ang turing ko dito, dahil sa likas ang pagka-disgusto ko sa mga bagay na hindi pamilyar sa akin.

Inaway ko pa ang nagbitbit nito. Dahil mas natuon ang oras nya sa paghimas, pagpindot at pagkalikot nito kesa sa akin…ilang araw na ba akong hindi napipindot? ah, hindi ko na maalala.

Drama kung drama, crayola to death pa! Mahihiya si Juday sa ma-emote na pagpatak ng luha ko habang binibigkas ko ang mga salitang ” You are taking me for granted!” Oo, inglesera ako kapag nagda-drama ako, epekto ng ilang taon ko sa Cebu at sa makulay na nakaraan ko sa callcenter.

Ng nalusaw na ng mga luha ko ang make-up ko kakaiyak, nagkaayos din kami kagabi… kahit hindi pa rin ako napindot. Pero kaninang umaga ay nahimas naman ako. May kiss pa! Nang umalis ang nagdala ng gamit na ito ay matagal kong inisip kung kakalikutin ko nga ba ito o doon ako sa dati kong pwesto…hmmm.

Binuksan ko ang bag, at nilabas ko sya. Bagong-bago, amoy plastic pa. Nakakapanibago. Ayokong ma-attach sa nognog na ito. kahit pa ang sarap nyang pindot-pindutin. Wala talaga akong tiwala sa mga bagong gamit.

Pindot-pindot-pindot! Jusme! Alas-kwatro na pala ng hapon! Buong araw pala ako halos pindot ng pindot dito. Hindi ko napansin na nage-enjoy na pala ako. Tignan mo nga naman, nakakaaliw din pala ito.

Nasanay ako noon na madaming bagong gamit na binibigay lamang sa akin, hanggang sa nadiskubre ko na lahat ng gamit na binibigay lamang ay may “kapalit”…ang pagtanaw ng utang na loob, ang pagsabi ng “oo” kahit “hindi” ang gusto mong isagot, ang paglunok ng pride mo.

Pindot-pindot-pindot…naisip ko na si nognog pala ay bunga ng sarili naming pawis at tiyaga…at hindi ko dapat pag-isipan ng masama, pero ganun man, gusto ko pa rin isipin na hiram ko lang sya, pinahiram ng tadhana para mas madami kaming matutunan at magawa. Astig!

Minsan, parang bata pa din ako mag-isip. Mas simple ang buhay sa mga mata ng bata. Tawa nga kami ng tawa ng anak ko habang nanunuod kami ng bagong release na Wonder Woman eh…may isang piloto ang gumamit ng invisible jet ni Wonderwoman para tirahin ang isang missile na pinakawalan ng US para tirahin ang sumulpot na isla ng mga Amazona. pinindot na ng piloto ang release button ng missile pero wala syang makitang lumilipad na missile papunta sa US missile! Nagpapanic na kami! Ilang segundo lang at biglang sumabog ang US missile…yun pala invisible din ang missile ng invisible jet ni wonderwoman! HAHAHHA! Honga no! tawa kami ng tawa…invisible pala!

Hey, It’s that time of the year again! Just when you think you’re starting to get over the cold loveless December, February is here and love is in the air once more! If you’re loveless still and you haven’t been successful in finding a man/girl to hook up with last January, chances are you’ll be one of the faces in a group date with your friends. Misery loves company.

I’ve been there, done that. I used to get drunk this time of the year, surrounded by gay and girl friends. Valentine’s suck because of all the marketing hype about romantic dinner dates, shiny boxes of expensive godiva chocolates, and designer flowers that are suppossed to make you feel like a winner in a beauty pageant! *snort*

Everybody wants to love and feel loved,  with all these many people living in the world, you’re probably wondering, why am I not getting any? Good question, why aren’t you getting any?

I’m not an expert in love, but since I’m already married now, and I didn’t have to give him any hint to tie me down, perhaps I did something right somewhere. Here’s some unsolicited love for all the loveless out there…love of the loveless…cool, that is an Eels song, if you dont know them, its time you did.

Number One: You’re looking in the wrong place

You’ve been doing the same stuff for like what? three-four years?  Thinking that Romeo will somehow find it’s way to you…well you’re wrong! Men (God bless them) are weird creatures! I’m a girl and I know how odd I am sometimes, what makes you think they are in any way different? If the little universe you are living in is not bringing you any buzzing bees, try taking your flower somewhere else! Darwin called it evolution. Its time you started evolving girlfriend. Your little planet is not working for you, or sometimes you just need to re-invent yourself first before these silly bees start noticing that you have a pretty cool flower after all. Get a real kickass sexy attitude. Wear a thong…it’s lke riding a bicycle, you’ll get used to it!

Numbwer two: Learn their ABC’s

They are sooo dense! When God pulled Eve out of Adam’s side, he must have taken away his intuition. They honestly have no clue on what is going on in our head, and you have to be very blunt with them…well, at least as blunt as your pride will allow you. Try to understand the silly little talk they are making and try to appear “interested”. If you actually know more than they do, dont let them know you have a brain bigger than them, it scares them. All the blood in their brain is meant to travel down south, and honestly, when you’re married, you’ll want ALL that blood down there to keep you happy And if you should know that is but one of the secret ingredients to a happy relationship…keeping that blood flowing!

Number three: Extreme Makeover

Its not just about getting the attitude, and squeezing that sex appeal out of your brain, (Sex appeal by the way is not about a woman’s body, it’s all aout a womans confidence) It’s also about how you look! Would you fall in love with you? Do you wear makeup? You should! Watch national geographic and you will know that the animals that get the most attention and get the guys are the voluptous, healthy, colorful ones! How is your skin? Is it dry? slather some moisturizer girl! Get some lipstick action goin. A chinese feng shui expert once told me that if you want to attract love wear a rosy blush. Red/pink attracts love! If you hate pink or red, then too bad. You dont have to look like a hooker if you use red. Go to Body Shop, they can give you a makeup for free and teach you what cosmetics go well with your skintone. If you’ve never tried cosmetics before, dont attempt to use it without a consultation. Seriously, this is your face we’re talking about
It all boils down to you. To attract love, you have to love yourself. Take care of yourself, and spend more time feeling confident about your body.

I realized that my dad could be reading this post…lol! Like the title says. this is just a silly valentines post!

Mahirap talaga hanapin ang mga ayaw magpahanap…kanina lang ay nakita ko ang taong matagal ko nang hina-hunting. Buhay pa naman sya, tahimik nga lang.

Mahilig kasi tayo sa mabilisan, instant gratification, kapag matagal, madali uminit ang ulo at kadalasan ay nauuwi sa away.

Ayoko sa taong mainitin ang ulo, nahahawa kasi ako. Kapag nagalit ka, alam mo bang nagmumukha kang tanga? Katulad na lang ng isang lalaki sa MRT. May lalaking nagalit kasi natapakan ang bagong shine nyang sapatos. Alam mo naman na siksikan ang sasakyan mo, halos magkapalitan na kayo ng mukha at magkiskisan ng mga ano nyo, sana nag-taxi ka na lang
Gusto ko lang naman sabihin na nahanap ko na sapatos ko sa ilalim ng kama, pero suklay ko naman ang nawawala. Imbis na magalit, bibili na lang ako ng bagong suklay.

Dalawang araw na din akong hindi makasuklay.

Swerte na lang at na-plantsa buhok ko, kahit galing sa tuwalya, mukhang sinuklay pa din wehehehe!

Walang kwenta ang post na ito, bakit binabasa nyo pa? hehehe…tutulog na nga ako!

Oo nga pala daan naman kayo sa bahay ko sa wordpress.

http://thumbbook.wordpress.com

Heto na naman ang masayang panahon,

13th month at gift bag na kahon-kahon

Said na ang bulsa, pagod pa ang paa,

kakahanap ng bargain sa Divisoria

Feeling ko talaga dumadami ang white hair ko kapag naririnig ko na ina-announce ni Ted Failon/Julius Babao/Karen Davila kung ilang araw na lang bago mag-pasko. Nate-tense ako sa gastos, at kasama na din dun ang pagtama ng krisis sa Pinas. Sabi kasi nila sa simula daw ng 2009 natin mararamdaman ang krisis, kaya ako naghahanda na ako sa kung ano man ang mangyari.Masarap sana mag-shopping dahil ang daming mga “Sale”, pero hindi maalis sa isip ko ang matagal nang tinuturo ng nanay ko

Ubos-ubos biyaya, bukas nakatingala

Huwag sana natin gawing excuse ang kapaskuhan para i-max out ang credit card at ubusin ang sweldo sa kakabili ng regalong wala nang silbi after 6 months.

Sa totoo lang,habang tumatanda ako, mas naa-appreciate ko ang kahulugan ng Pasko. Panahon nga ito ng pagbibigayan, pero hindi naman sinabi na ubusin mo ang pera mo kakabili ng regalo para sa buong opisina, at buong baranggay. Ang Pasko ay para sa mga bata, pero hindi ibig sabihin nito ay ibibigay mo na ang lahat ng luho nila kapalit ng oras na hindi mo sila kapiling. Mas mahalaga pa rin ang sama-sama kayong magluto at maghanda ng pagkain sa Noche Buena (Balak kong kami ng anak ko ang magbe-bake ng brownies para sa Noche Buena, sya ang matiyagang sumimot na brownie batter eh). Hindi kailangang bonggang-bongga ang Noche buena, ang importante ay mabubusog kayo at masaya ang lahat.

Isa na lang talaga ang makaka-kumpleto sa pasko ko. Ang wish ko sa Pasko yung wish ko din last Christmas, at nung birthday ko…ang magka-baby na ako. Sabi ng manghuhula na kaibigan ni Sis, magkaka-baby pa daw ako, isa na lang daw, ang huling hirit ng matris ko. Wish ko talaga magkatotoo. Alam ko naman na ibibigay yan sa akin at the right time, sana lang malapit na. Inggit na inggit ako sa mga babaitang anak ng anak jan. Sana ako din, at gusto ko talaga na maging babae sya. Mahirap pala kapag lalake ang anak mo, halos himatayin ako when I found out my 9 yo son “knew” all about “the birds and the bees”. Ako yata ang magsi-seizure ng di oras, he is still my “baby” and it’s hard to accept he is growing up na pala.

Pasko na nga. Wag nyo kalimutan na hindi si Santa ang simbolo ng Pasko. Ang unang pasko ay ginanap sa sabsaban, walang noche buena, at ang regalo nya ay pagkatapos ng bagong taon na dumating.

I just realized Ive been a year away from Cebu now, and I’m sooo homesick! And the weird thing about it is Im really not from Cebu. Both my parents are tagalog, but I’ve never had such strong feelings about a province as I have for Cebu.

Cebu is tough on tagalogs. They will welcome any tourist with open arms, but if you plan on staying long, you have to learn and adapt to their ways. Sabi nga nila, “when in Rome, do as the Romans do” and I guess the same goes to any FilAm athletes or stars. You can see that even they have to learn to speak the local dialect. And for that, I understood why I have to learn to speak Visaya.

My husband is from Iloilo and I like to think that I am now Visaya by marriage (Isn’t that the truth in old civilizations? ie Helen of Sparta became Helen of Troy), and since our union was made in Cebu, presided by none other than the Hon. Judge Simeon Dumdum, I insist that I am now a southern belle

Now, there are a lot of things that I miss in Cebu, including things that my husband used to rant about, but I found endearing. So here are my top 10 things I miss about Cebu.

1. Food - I worked in the food industry and I was exposed to a lot of good food. I may not be so agile in the kitchen, but my taste buds know good food. Cebu is a treasure throve of great food! From the shnazzy restos to the corner barbecue stalls.

If you go to Cebu, try Larsian! Its a famous barbecue strip downtown near chong hua. Try their barbecue, order 1-2 puso (hanging rice) and order the siomai sa Tisa (order 5pcs or more because believe me lami kaayo ang siomai sa tisa). You will eat with your hands in Larsian. They will give you a small plastic bag that can cover your hand, and this will serve as your “glove” since there are no available faucet or water supply for you to wash your hands from. Its crude, but hey, its cheap and the food is sooo good! I still use a hand sanitizer after eating because the smell of bbq still stays in my hand.

Try their Ngohiong too. It’s like lumpiang prito but they use chinese 5 spice in it, hence the name Ngo hiong.

2. Transportation

I used to take a cab when I first got to Cebu. Riding their jeepneys are confusing because jeepneys go different routes. They have codes for traffic routes. A 04L jeep going to Mabolo is different from a 04C jeep also heading to Mabolo. Its a little complicated to learn at first, but soon you will appreciate that it makes things a lot simpler. Well, Cebu is a small city compared to Manila. A one-hour trip for them is considered a long voyage, but for us that is just how long it takes to get from Cubao to Ortigas on a bus. Their TAXI drivers are also very honest! There was one time when I chanced upon a tagalog taxi driver and I wanted to get out. Because I know he will not give me the exact change. Cebuano taxi drivers are among the best drivers I know in the country!

3. Old Churches and old houses

Being the cradle of Christianity, the old churches, most especially those in the far off provinces in Cebu, gives us a glimpse of how life was back then. Little has changed with these old churches, but they are also sorely neglected. It was a little sad when I think that the community is not united in restoring this architectural beauties.

4. Going to Mass

I am moved by the faith and devotion I see in the churchgoers in Cebu. If I was a priest, I would never tire of saying mass over and over again, because there are a lot of people going to mass on Sundays. I dont know from where they came from, but in most churches I have visited, laging puno ang simbahan kapag linggo. I went to mass in Manila Cathedral a month ago, and somehow, it just wasnt the same. It didnt have that feeling of communing with God when I was there. My husband and I liked going to mass in Mt. Carmel in Mabolo, I like the prayer vespers on weekdays too. I actually prayed to the lady to help me learn Bisaya, because I really wanted to stay in Cebu.

5. Beach

Being an island, there are beaches everywhere. I dreamed of going to Bantayan Island, but the best beach I went to would probably be in Moalboal. I didnt mind getting sunburned.

6. People

Cebu is a melting pot of the southern provinces in the Philippines. There are people from Leyte, Zamboanga, Iloilo, Davao, Bohol that I have met, who at first i thought were all Cebuano’s. Their diversity is what makes Cebu unique. they are very open to strangers, and if you show how much you appreciate them, they will give back that kindness and can be loyal to you till the end.

Like the friends that I have made…gmingaw na pud ko kanimo

7. Less Pollution

When I wake up and take my morning(or evening) walk around the neighborhood, I can smell the ocean in the wind. The air is so fresh that when I returned to Manila, my sinusitis reacted from the pollution in the air.

8. Climate

Its not too hot in Cebu, compared to Manila. There is always the wind blowing in from the sea, and it rarely rains in Cebu, except during the rainy season of course.

9.Videoke Machines

The bane of my husband’s life in Cebu, but which i find a little funny. Imagine living next to a videoke/karaoke machine, whose singers are either drunk or off key. A pension house with a videoke machine? yeah, only in Cebu!

10. Tourist spots

I love visiting the tourists spots in Cebu because I like watching the Koreans, Japanese nationals taking pictures, and watching their faces as they listen intently to their tour guides. They look like tokobots

There is a lot missing to this list, but these are the things I like most. My husband and I always reminisce about how simple life was back there, but we all have to move forward. Someday, we plan to go back there. take our backpacks and walk the familiar streets of Mabolo. *sigh*